What Would Jesus Do?

One thing I never really understood about the Republican Party is the marriage of rich and religious. It seems that the two are kind of contradictory. Not necessarily that rich people can't be religious or even good people for that matter but policies favoring the rich - cutting the top 1%'s taxes - are not good for the poor.

Here's my ultra short version of The Bible, it's in two parts:

Part I - Don't worship other Gods

Part II - Be nice to poor people

In very broad strokes, that about sums it up. So since pretty much no one in America is polyeithistic, you'd the democrats would get religious vote because they are nicer to poor people.

Instead of WWJD, let's play HWJFATCDPCS - How Would Jesus Feel About These Current Day Political Controversial Subjects. OK, so:

• Abortion: I think it's safe to say that Jesus would be pro-life.
• Death Penalty: Probably safe to say anti-death-penaly.
• Gay Marriage: I think Jesus would be pro-gay marriage, I don't think he even discusses homosexuality in The Bible. Jesus was more laid back and cool than religious nuts.
• The War in Iraq: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....ixney on the arwey

Incidentally, The Bible skips like 10 years of Jesus' life...do you think he ever like got drunk or liked a girl (or dare I say kissed a girl)? What if you were Jesus' first kiss? I wonder if chicks liked him, I mean he was mad charismatic. Is this sacrilegious to say?