The Worst Job in Sports

Out of all team sports I think the position I would want to occupy least (assuming you're a regular starter - not an Eric Anderson) is a field goal kicker in football. You just sit around the whole game and if you make a field goal, you're supposed to but if you miss, you suck. Talk about pressure. Yes, you could end up as Adam Vinatieri but you could also be Scott Norwood. What a stressful job.
My roomate, Chris, argues that punting is the worst job because you don't even have a chance to be dope. I can see his point.
I still think I'd hate to be a kicker, though.

Yes, She Said It With a Straight Face

From yahoo.com:

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas derided any potential perjury charge as a "technicality," and suggested Fitzgerald may be trying to show that "two years' of investigation was not a waste of time and dollars."
Other Republicans with close ties to the White House suggested that Fitzgerald was looking at perjury and obstruction charges because he was having trouble proving that officials knowingly leaked the identity of a covert operative.

When Republican strategists are coming up with talking points on how to handle these possible indictments, I wonder if they don't realize how much statements like these just drip with irony. I mean, they must, don't you think? When someone points out how hypocritical the "perjury isn't that big of a deal" defense is, what can they possibly counter with? "Well, Karl Rove and Scooter Libby were lying about whether or not they outed a spy to smear a critic that claimed the administration manipulated evidence about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq in order to justify a war they really wanted to fight, I mean, come on! How petty can you get?! Bill Clinton, now that guy was lying about blowjobs - that's morally reprehensible and he should have been kicked out of office!"

Onnnn Our Way Back Home, On Our Way Home, We're Goingg Hooooooo-oome

We have located Pacherski - he is safe and sound.

He advised that, in the future, should he disappear for a week or so, we should not be alarmed. "If I disappear and die", he assured us, "you'll see it on TV."

I will sleep better at night.

Turns out Chris was home for part of last week. Dave was in Teaneck for the majority of the week celebrating various Jewish holidays and hanging out with the Ner and the Marge. I was working fairly late and getting home at like 9 or 10. Chris, one may say, is on a different schedule than I. So, for Tuesday through Thursday afternoon while I was at work, Chris was home. When I was home, Chris was............doing whatever it is Chris does. Then, on Thursday, he drove to Georgia (cue in "The Best There Ever Was") with the Hollywoods to go to a wedding. He didn't tell me or Dave. He heard our messages from Friday but couldn't call back because his phone was shutoff. Apparently neither Luke nor Phil has a cell phone Chris could use. Yea, I don't believe that either. Anyway, he came home Monday night and that was pretty much that. How anticlimactic?.

It also turns out that Chris had, in fact, informed Dave of his impending trip to help celebrate his friend's nuptials but it had slipped his mind. The following conversation ensued on Monday night:

Chris: "Dude, I told you where I was going"
Dave: "No you didn't"
Chris: "Yes I did"
Dave: "When?"
Chris: "Saturday night when we were hanging out at the back room of The Black Bear Lodge"
Dave: "Oh yea"

And, thus, the saga ended.

The Great White Hoh-Yes!

From ESPN.com:
OKLAHOMA CITY -- A man got a prison term longer than prosecutors and defense attorneys had agreed to because of Larry Bird.
The lawyers reached a plea agreement Tuesday for a 30-year term for a man accused of shooting with an intent to kill and robbery. But Eric James Torpy wanted his prison term to match Bird's jersey number 33.
"He said if he was going to go down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird's jersey," Oklahoma County District Judge Ray Elliott said Wednesday. "We accommodated his request and he was just as happy as he could be.
"I've never seen anything like this in 26 years in the courthouse. But, I know the DA is happy about it."

What can you say? I bet it won't seem like such a good idea to the guy in 2035. But, hey, at least his sentence will match Larry Bird's old jersey number.

Where in the World is Chris San Diego?

Dave and I haven't seen our roomate, Chris Chaberski, since last Monday - have you?

When Bush Comes to Shove

The second term has not been kind to President Bush, so far. It's probably too early to call his second term a failure just yet but things are looking bad for Dubya and the Republicans as well. Luckily for them, the Democrats are a bunch of pussies in whom I have little faith. In fact, I can't even tell you anything about what they stand for or believe in. Let's recap what's been going on in The Second President Bush, Part II:

• Upon winning a 'decisive victory' by, what - 3% of the popular vote? - declared he had 'political capital and intended to spend it'. Them's fightin' words, Dubya! And fight he did, he picked the Big Motherfucker: Social Security. Yep, the third rail of American politics. Privatizing accounts to some degree, which I don't know is a bad idea but, as he is wont to do, just glossed over the enormous gap there would between incoming and outgoing money. Oh well, I guess we could just borrow it from China. Survey Says: X
• Iraq voted on a referendum in a free in election. They voted on the people who would go and write the Constitution. An important and very positive step on the rocky road that could lead to democracy and stabilization in the middle east, of course it could also lead to a failed, rogue, civil war stricken, terrorist harboring country. I bet figuring out where to go must feel like driving throught Queens the first time. This was certainly a bright point, though. Survey Says: Ding
• John Roberts nominated as new Supreme Court Justice and then Chief Justice. I don't know if there was anyone more well-qualified and less controversial person in the country. Yes, he may not vote how I want and I may end up really not liking him but it was hard to argue against his confirmation. Brilliant! (to be said in that Guinness commercial voice)
• Iraq in General. I mean, come on. X
• N'awlins. What in God's name was he thinking? I have no idea. Apparently, after a few days Scott McClelland made a DVD of all the fucked up shit going down and was basically like, "yo man, you probably ought to do something about this shit". Only then did Bush act. Then he went down there and told 'Brownie' he was doing a 'helluva job'. He's promised to build the most super duper city ever and spend whatever it takes and all that but no one is in charge and there are no plans. This is poised to turn into a mess. This is when the Bush Presidency may have jumped the shark. Worse than Leonardo DiCaprio joining 'Growing Pains'. X
• Nominating Harrier Myers to the Supreme Court. What was he thinking? What we she thinking? I guess she was thinking, 'Wow I'm going to be a Supreme Court Justice - cool!" (Get it?) I think Bush was thinking that she's his friend, she kisses his ass, she's a bright woman, she's a...lawer! (can't you see the imaginary light bulb go off in that cartoon bubble as he thinks of this?), she's God-fearing Christian and that means she'll vote against abortion and, on top of that, she has absolutely positively has no paper trail at all. All I've read so far are some very boring, uninteresting, no statement taking newsletter that she wrote as the President of the Texas Bar Assocation. Things like, "We must end collective acceptance of this inapropriate conduct and increase education in professionalism". Well, that and like 20 birthday cards of mutual cheesy exclamation point filled admiration between her and Dubya. Great. He managed to piss everyone off. Conservatives are more pissed than Liberals. She probably will vote conservative I think. Bush seemed to basically be saying, 'Trust me, she'll vote how I would want her to' which is bordering on inappropriate. The right sees two words: David Souter. But wait! She's mad Christian. She won't change her mind - like .... when.... she ....became a born-again Christian in her late 30s. And what's up with Nathan L. Hecht - are they fucking or what? What if it turned out she were a lesbian? Pat Robertson's head would explode*. He'd probably suggest asassinating her. Did i spell that wrong? I feel bad for her, I'm sure she's a smart lady but I don't think she's like Supreme Court brilliant with credentials that scream Supreme Court Justice. I wouldn't be surprised if she got denied. Survey says: X.
• Economics in general. Not looking so good. Oil prices spiking, deficits skyrocketing, the Iraq war is not ending anytime soon, New Orleans needs to be rebuilt, the massive drug bill coming into effect in '06 - what to do? Cut taxes, of course. He just keeps cutting taxes and keeps spending more money. It's ridiculous. X
• The Rove factor. What is going to happen? Did he or didn't he? What about Scooter? Will they be indicted, fired or be given a promotion and the Presidential Medal of Freedom? (Jeopardy music begins to play....)

Stay tuned....

*Guiney, Brian - blogpost # 2 of 4. (http://bplog1.blogspot.com//)

If Scott McLellan is Denying It, It Must Not be True

From yahoo.com:

WASHINGTON (AFP) - The White House has denied that US
President George W. said God told him to invade
Iraq and Afghanistan, as a new BBC documentary is expected to reveal.

"That's absurd. He's never made such comments," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Thursday.
The documentary series set to be broadcast later
this month in Britain claims Bush made the claim when he met Palestinian leader Mahmud Abbas and then-foreign minister Nabil Shaath in June 2003.
He also told them he had been ordered by God to create a Palestinian state, the ministers said.
Shaath, now the Palestinian information minister, said: "
President Bush said to all of us: 'I'm driven with a mission from God'". "'God would tell me, 'George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan'." 'And I did. And then God would tell me, 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq... ' And I did.
"'And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the
Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'. And by God I'm gonna do it'," said Shaath.
Abbas, who was also at the meeting in the Egyptian resort of Sharm al-Sheikh, recalled how the president told him: "'I have a moral and religious obligation'". "'So I will get you a Palestinian state.'"
The three-part series, "Elusive Peace: Israel' and the
Arabs", charts the attempts to bring peace to the Middle East, from former US president Bill Clinton's talks in 1999-2000 to Israel's withdrawal from the Gaza strip.
The series is due to begin airing Monday.

In the Knick of Time

My initial reaction to the Tim Thomas/Mike Sweetney for Eddie Curry/Antonio Davis is positive, and here's why:

• Getting rid of Tim Thomas is a good thing. I would have traded him for a box of animal crackers. The guy has all the talent in the world and just can't get it together. An average player, not much heart, he's the kind of guy you don't want on your team because he's content with mediocrity.
• Sweetney is OK but let's not kid ourselves, this is not the Mets trading Lenny Dykstra. Knicks fans - do you think you're ever going to say, "Damn, Sweetney is a-mazing, I wish we never traded him"? Yea, I don't think so either. He'll be a nice player but never a star.
• Eddie Curry is pretty dope. He's a legit threat to average 20 and 10 in the next few years and that's exactly what the Knicks need out of a big man, plus it will give Marbury a big-man to compliment his talents. Curry is big, fast and athletic - also, he's only 22 so this is still clearly Marbury's team and there won't be much ego clashing, I don't think. Of course...
• There's the heart problem thing. He could just not be able to play ever. But even if that were to happen he would come off the cap. He's not insured by the league's insurance policy but who cares if Dolan has to pay that money out of pocket? I certainly don't. In case anyone forgot, I hate the Dolans.
• I don't know anything about Antonio Davis anymore but he was pretty good for Indiana for years if I remember correctly. I think he averaged like 12 points and 6 rebounds last year. The Knicks may cut him so he can re-sign with Chicago, in which case he'd come off the cap or they'll keep him and he'll be a decent power forward and unlike Sweetney he's over 6'4".

Overall, good move.